New Student: Thomas!!

Dear Fluffs Admission Committee,

I am not your typical cat-plicant. In my spare time I like to do punny cosplay–this past Halloween I paraded around as a catfish and a palindrome (tacocat!) and was a more famous Thomas on 4th of July.

I love to sleep in positions human contortionists can only dream of achieving. I have 13 (almost 14!) years of experience in relaxation, carpet scratching, chasing toy mice and springs, and selfies. I look forward at the prospect of joining your varsity bird watching team and becoming Phoebe’s teammate in Run Cross Wood Floors, another favorite past-time of mine. My tiny vampire fangs might make me look scary, but in reality I’m just your average lazy couch potato, and therefore would fit right in at Fluffs University.

(a selfie)

Pls, I can haz enrollment?

kthxbai,

Thomas

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